before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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