Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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