I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
