An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
