everyone is single if you try hard enough
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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