Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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