pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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