Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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