This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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