WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
