I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just googled if crying burns calories
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
