Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
