Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
