Do you still have your period?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize