I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
