I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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