She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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