She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize