what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
