I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
