i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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