I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
