this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
