belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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