so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
A+ Viking dick
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
