I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize