We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
