My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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