In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize