that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
