I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
