You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
i out mim tonsoeep
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