Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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