Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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