Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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