walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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