Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
