Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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