i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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