how can u be prego again
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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