I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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