Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Randomize
