you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize