Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I think people are normalizing furries
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
