Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
