Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
