Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
How external is "for external use only"?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize