I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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