there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize