Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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