i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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