oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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