Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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