Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
