He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
it glows. i had to have it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
