She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
