I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
