Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
