I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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