Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My cat gives me a boner
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
