I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
