I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
