I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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