it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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