what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
