i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
