I feel great
I just peed on a car
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize