seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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