The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
