yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
