You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize