Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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