listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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