By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
try to milk me bitch
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